Teen Mom

As stated in my blog yesterday last night was the very last time we would see the original Teen Mom girls on TV. Now I know there are some who say the show glamorizes teen pregnancy and I can see that point of view. I on the other hand feel very different. Sure these girls got paid for sharing their stories, but these stories weren't all butterflies and rainbows. I have followed these girls from from when they were on 16 & Pregnant and felt a connection to them. On the first season of 16 & Pregnant the show featured six girls and I happened to live in the same cities as three of the girls while I was in high school. I was a teen mom, but it was my choice. As dumb as it sounds at the time I asked my then boyfriend if he wanted to have a baby together. Much to my surprise he said yes and two months later I was pregnant. Now I know the choice I made was not in the best interest for me, my boyfriend, or my now daughter. I was a selfish teenager only thinking about me, myself, and I. I really didn't think about all the responsibility becoming a parent would entail. It was rough for sure and my life as a teen mother was by no means glamorous. I fully intend to let my children know how hard it was on me, educate them on safe sex, and pray they take everything I say to heart so they don't follow in my footsteps.

So tonight after watching the reunion shows and unseen moments the hubs turned to me and asked," Do you think if this show had been on when you were a teen you still would have become a teen mom?" Can I just say I was totally caught off guard by this question! He and I have talked until we are blue in the face about our lives before each other and he understands why I decided to become a teen mom. He doesn't judge me for it nor does he honestly care that I was a teen mom. He just thinks it happened and there is no changing it so why dwell on the past. With that said my immediate answer was,"I don't know." Then the wheels in my head started turning. I kept asking myself,"Would I have made a different choice?" I thought to myself what would my life be like now if I hadn't become a mom almost 9 years ago. Would I have gone to college? Would I have married my high school boyfriend? Would I have my son? Would I be married to my husband now? It is funny how one little question can spark all these other questions.

So while watching an episode of SOA I jotted down my thoughts and here is my conclusion. I can't say 100% for sure if there was a show like Teen Mom on when I was a teenager if I would have made a different choice. Like I stated above the decision I made was selfish. I see that now, but at 18 I don't know if even with a show like this I could have realized that. I do believe however it would have opened up my eyes to things I didn't realize. See when I was high school a lot of girls had babies before I did. Most of them had them with fellow classmates and they were still together. So it never really crossed my mind that if I had a child as a teen the father and I may not stay together. Fast forward to present day and I can only think of one couple I knew that had a child together in high school that are still together and happy to boot! Way to go Beavers Fam!! Another thing I didn't really take into consideration was how having a baby would change my life forever. I had plans for my life and when baby came along those plans went out the window. I don't resent her for that at all. She is honestly the light of my life and I couldn't imagine a day without her, but there were times I saw what some of my fellow classmates were out doing and wished I could be doing the same. I also didn't realize how likely you are to have a second child so quickly if you are a teen mom. I also fall into that statistic. Sure by the time I conceived my son I was married, but he and my daughter are less than two years apart.  So in short I am not sure it would have helped me to make a different choice, but I sure do hope that it has helped this generation.

Being a teen mom wasn't easy and I couldn't have done it by any means on my own. My family really stood by me even if they didn't agree with the decision I made. I remember bringing my daughter home and my mom telling me you are the parent not me so you are going to be doing everything. At the time I just wished she had helped but as a mature adult I can see why she did what she did. She wanted me to feel the consequences for my actions and be responsible. After all this baby was MY child. There were many many nights she would just cry and cry and I would sit up and hold her and cry with her. I felt like I got no sleep which I am sure many new parents feel. My parents helped us out financially and I can't even imagine what life would have been like if they didn't. I also think that by seeing the struggles I went through my sister saw first hand a life she didn't want for herself. She is almost 21 and still no kid for her so YAY!

Becoming a teen mom meant I changed my entire life for my child just as any mother should. Over the last almost nine years she has opened my life up to so much more than I could have ever imagined. Sure I still have the same dreams for myself that were there before becoming a teen mom. I hope to someday achieve those dreams, but in all reality if at the end of the day my greatest achievement is being a great mom that is more than enough for me. My kids are my entire world and I would give life and limb to make them happy and see them succeed.

Did you ever make a big life changing decision only to later in life see it was selfish? If you could change the path you took would you?

Peace&Love,
Mrs.C