Monday, October 22, 2012

Birthday Shenanigans

In case you hadn't figured by now our countdown to the move is in full swing. To say we have been busy is an understatement. Last I left you was 24 hours before my mom arrived to spend some time with us one last time before we left the mainland.  I finally found some motivation and got the house cleaned just in time for her arrival. This year our kids go to two different elementary schools so that means they no longer get home at the same time. My mom hid outside for about an hour until both kids were home so she could surprise them. I guess it is a good thing we live in the desert and it was still pretty warm here. When I picked my mom up she was carrying a box and when I asked her what was in it she said something she found at DFW that she liked. I didn't really think anything of it and we headed back to my house. Once we got here she said that the kids could open it when they were home since they were expecting a surprise and she would come in once they opened it. I picked the box up and it was really light so in all honesty I thought she brought an empty box to trick the kids. Both kids finally arrived home and they were practically salivating at the mouth to open that box up. I grabbed my phone to video their reaction and sliced open the taped ends. Little did I know the kids weren't the only ones to receive a surprise right then. The kids ripped open the box and inside was a painting that I had asked for. Where my family lives there are studios called Painting with a twist . A few friends who live in that area have been to these painting classes and shared pictures of their masterpieces. I was looking around at classes they had to offer and fell in love with one painting. My all time most favorite in the whole entire world painting is The Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh and sure enough this place was offering this painting, but with a twist. The Austin skyline so to speak. I was raised about an hour away from Austin, but have been there many times. I felt like I just had to have this painting. As soon as I saw it I called both my mom and my sister to ask if one of them would take the class. It so happened that the studio right up from the road from my sisters house was the only one offering it before my birthday. My mom told me she really didn't want to do it because she doesn't have a steady hand and felt like she couldn't do it. My sister said she would try, but in the end she couldn't get off work to attend the class. I must say my heart was broken! Sure I ask for things for my birthday, but never felt so strongly about a gift the way I did about this painting. So as I am video taping the kids ripping open this box I see them flinging paper everywhere and I thought my mom would walk in any second. Then my daughter yelled out,"Starry Night? This is for you mom not us!" Sure enough I snapped out of the daze I was in to looked and it was THE PAINTING!!!!! I had tears in my eyes and just couldn't believe it. My mom then walked in and the kids went crazy. My mom asked if I was surprised and in all honesty I totally was! I thought my sister had lied to me and done it, but then my mom pointed out the signature and she did it! Now I would have loved the painting regardless if my sister had did it, but the fact that my mom did it makes it a million more times special to me. She had to drive over an hour to Austin to take the class and on a work night to boot. After how much my mom expressed she did not want to paint I would have never guessed she did the painting for me. She even said she was worried that I wouldn't like it because I am so picky, but honestly it is the best gift she has ever given me. I can't wait to hang it up in our new house and have it for years to come. It will be that piece that will always have a special place in our home and when people ask me about it I can tell them the story about my mom painting it for me. For those who don't know me well or the things I have been through in my life may not understand this, but that is ok because my mom will know exactly what I mean.

Ma,
Our relationship has never been what I have wanted and I am sure you feel the same. Things always seem to be working against us instead of for us. I know you have loved me my whole life, but I don't feel love easily. Every time I look at that painting I feel the love you have for me. At a time when everyone who I thought loved me seems to be turning their back on me you really pulled through for me as the mom I have always wanted. Words will never be able to express how much I needed the feelings you doing the painting provided. I know I don't say it often enough, but I am putting it out there for anyone and everyone to see that I LOVE YOU!

Now lets get back to the fun stuff! That night Shaun and I snuck off to the store and picked up a birthday cake for my mom. Her birthday isn't until November, but since we will be so far away we thought we would celebrate it early. She was totally surprised! We recently had family pictures taken and we had her pick out her favorite one and as her gift had it printed on a canvas. Saturday we went to a nearby town and had brunch at the Bisbee breakfast club. It was very delicious and something I have wanted to do the whole 3 years we have lived here. After that we went shopping at some of the antique stores in town. My mom bought me an old flour sifter and hand mixer I found. Later that night she fixed my favorite meal....chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, white gravy, corn, and biscuits. She even bought me A1 sauce because she knows that is what I like to eat my chicken fried steak with. The rest of the weekend I tried to relax and just enjoy seeing the kids with my mom. Tuesday morning came before we knew it and it was time to take her back to the airport. It sucked seeing her leave and not knowing when the next time we would be able to see her. As much as I have hated living in Az the past 3 years it was a short 13 hour drive home if I wanted to see my family. Moving to Hawaii consists of a very long and expensive plane ride in order to see one another. Hopefully she and some of our other family members will be able to come out and see us while we are there.

Almost one month later it is still hard to believe I am 28 years old. Doesn't really feel any different than 27 except for the fact that next year means 29. I am not scared to be almost 30 by any means, but it just means that my daughter will be turning 10 soon after. I never believed parents when they would say cherish those baby years because they go by too fast. I know find myself looking at her and trying to figure out where that baby went? Her 9th birthday is right around the corner and I just know with this move, trying to find a house in Hawaii, and getting settled, this next year will go by so quickly. I am not ready to have a daughter in the double digit age range.

I am off to get some more things checked off our pre movers coming check list. This week is full of last time appointments, pre move out inspection of the house, and baby boys 7th birthday!  Have a great week everyone.

Peace&Love,
Mrs. C

Monday, October 8, 2012

Stationery card

Merry Bright Patterns Holiday Card
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Thursday, September 27, 2012

Where in the world....

Hello my name is Ashley and I am a slacker! Not just when it comes to blogging but almost everything in general. My mom will be here in 24 hours and I am sitting in a chair typing this blog and pinning on pinterest. I need some motivation to find me so I can clean this house!

Lets rewind to last weekend shall we? We went to our local Lowe's build and grow event. We knew it would be held outside because it was some sort of safety event, but we had no idea how large it would be. As we got out of our car we watched two helicopters land in the parking lot. They were the ones that transport patients from our tiny hospital to the bigger one an hour and a half away. Minus debris flying everywhere it was pretty cool. So then we went on to get our kit and start building our firetrucks. As we are building away the woman across the table from me says,"I need a medic my daughter is about to pass out!" Next thing I know she is catching her daughter as she fell to the cement. Everyone was screaming,"MEDIC!!!", and Shaun bent down to help the mom just as the firemen came running over. Apparently she was dehydrated and had low blood sugar, but ended up being ok. Can I just say for the second to last weekend in Sept it had to be over 90 degrees. Once we are all done building we decided to check out all the emergency vehicles. We've seen them all before because the city as hosts a Public Works day once a year that has every city vehicle on display. So the kids and I went in the fire trailer where they have you sit and it fills with smoke to simulate your house on fire. They did that twice, went and checked out the helicopters, fire truck, police car, and even got arrested by the police officer. The local PD also had people out there etching the vin into every window on your car in case it is every stolen the thief would have to replace every window. After that we went and had a nice surprise lunch at Olive Garden and did some shopping. That night we came home and watched our favorite teams win! It ended up being a great day which in this family are pretty hard to come by.

Yesterday I spent the morning volunteering at Sam's school for their apple celebration. It was a lot of work helping 20+ students with just myself and one other mom. We got the job done though and the kids seem to have a great day. Today they will be enjoying all sorts of apple snacks from juice, cider, muffins, suckers, cookies, bread, and more. I feel like it was just yesterday I was helping Kiley do the same thing and now it was Sam's turn. They sure do grow up quick.

Over the last week all we have done is talk about the upcoming move. It is now only 6 weeks away!!! Freak out mode is starting to kick in. We have a huge check list and we went through it the other day marking off things we have already done or that don't pertain to us which was a lot, but it still seems as though there is so much more to do. Shaun called months ago to make sure the port that is shipping our car would be open on Nov 12. They told him yes so he went ahead and booked our tickets for that day to fly to Hawaii. Well yesterday he called them again and imagine that they are now observing the holiday that day. So now we are shipping our car on the 13th and flying on the 14th because the travel office here told him they only book morning flights. It really isn't a huge deal as all of this doesn't affect when we are actually leaving Arizona. We are just extending our stay in San Diego a few days. Which is great because we love it there. Someone even called yesterday to ask what we planned on packing in our unaccompanied goods so that must mean it is getting closer right?

Earlier this week we picked up a dvd of Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? Each night the kids have got to watch an episode or two of what we used to watch when we were their age. The verdict is still out on whether or not they are impressed but hey for $3 it is nice for us to take a walk down memory lane.

Like I mentioned at the top my mom will be coming in 24 hours. Saturday is my birthday so she is coming to spend the weekend with us and it is most likely the last time we will see her before we leave. The kids have no idea she is coming and she will surprise them after school. Tomorrow after I pick her up we are going to spend some time in the big city shopping and probably lunch before heading back to our small town. Saturday we are thinking of going out to another local small town that is full of little shops. I have never been and have wanted to the whole three years we have lived here and now that we have an extra adult to tag along we thought why not. We hope to eat breakfast the the breakfast club we have heard so much about. I will let you know if I find anything good. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Peace&Love,
Mrs. C

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Teen Mom

As stated in my blog yesterday last night was the very last time we would see the original Teen Mom girls on TV. Now I know there are some who say the show glamorizes teen pregnancy and I can see that point of view. I on the other hand feel very different. Sure these girls got paid for sharing their stories, but these stories weren't all butterflies and rainbows. I have followed these girls from from when they were on 16 & Pregnant and felt a connection to them. On the first season of 16 & Pregnant the show featured six girls and I happened to live in the same cities as three of the girls while I was in high school. I was a teen mom, but it was my choice. As dumb as it sounds at the time I asked my then boyfriend if he wanted to have a baby together. Much to my surprise he said yes and two months later I was pregnant. Now I know the choice I made was not in the best interest for me, my boyfriend, or my now daughter. I was a selfish teenager only thinking about me, myself, and I. I really didn't think about all the responsibility becoming a parent would entail. It was rough for sure and my life as a teen mother was by no means glamorous. I fully intend to let my children know how hard it was on me, educate them on safe sex, and pray they take everything I say to heart so they don't follow in my footsteps.

So tonight after watching the reunion shows and unseen moments the hubs turned to me and asked," Do you think if this show had been on when you were a teen you still would have become a teen mom?" Can I just say I was totally caught off guard by this question! He and I have talked until we are blue in the face about our lives before each other and he understands why I decided to become a teen mom. He doesn't judge me for it nor does he honestly care that I was a teen mom. He just thinks it happened and there is no changing it so why dwell on the past. With that said my immediate answer was,"I don't know." Then the wheels in my head started turning. I kept asking myself,"Would I have made a different choice?" I thought to myself what would my life be like now if I hadn't become a mom almost 9 years ago. Would I have gone to college? Would I have married my high school boyfriend? Would I have my son? Would I be married to my husband now? It is funny how one little question can spark all these other questions.

So while watching an episode of SOA I jotted down my thoughts and here is my conclusion. I can't say 100% for sure if there was a show like Teen Mom on when I was a teenager if I would have made a different choice. Like I stated above the decision I made was selfish. I see that now, but at 18 I don't know if even with a show like this I could have realized that. I do believe however it would have opened up my eyes to things I didn't realize. See when I was high school a lot of girls had babies before I did. Most of them had them with fellow classmates and they were still together. So it never really crossed my mind that if I had a child as a teen the father and I may not stay together. Fast forward to present day and I can only think of one couple I knew that had a child together in high school that are still together and happy to boot! Way to go Beavers Fam!! Another thing I didn't really take into consideration was how having a baby would change my life forever. I had plans for my life and when baby came along those plans went out the window. I don't resent her for that at all. She is honestly the light of my life and I couldn't imagine a day without her, but there were times I saw what some of my fellow classmates were out doing and wished I could be doing the same. I also didn't realize how likely you are to have a second child so quickly if you are a teen mom. I also fall into that statistic. Sure by the time I conceived my son I was married, but he and my daughter are less than two years apart.  So in short I am not sure it would have helped me to make a different choice, but I sure do hope that it has helped this generation.

Being a teen mom wasn't easy and I couldn't have done it by any means on my own. My family really stood by me even if they didn't agree with the decision I made. I remember bringing my daughter home and my mom telling me you are the parent not me so you are going to be doing everything. At the time I just wished she had helped but as a mature adult I can see why she did what she did. She wanted me to feel the consequences for my actions and be responsible. After all this baby was MY child. There were many many nights she would just cry and cry and I would sit up and hold her and cry with her. I felt like I got no sleep which I am sure many new parents feel. My parents helped us out financially and I can't even imagine what life would have been like if they didn't. I also think that by seeing the struggles I went through my sister saw first hand a life she didn't want for herself. She is almost 21 and still no kid for her so YAY!

Becoming a teen mom meant I changed my entire life for my child just as any mother should. Over the last almost nine years she has opened my life up to so much more than I could have ever imagined. Sure I still have the same dreams for myself that were there before becoming a teen mom. I hope to someday achieve those dreams, but in all reality if at the end of the day my greatest achievement is being a great mom that is more than enough for me. My kids are my entire world and I would give life and limb to make them happy and see them succeed.

Did you ever make a big life changing decision only to later in life see it was selfish? If you could change the path you took would you?

Peace&Love,
Mrs.C

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Sasha B in the Hizzy...

Sorry it has been a bit since my last post, but I had surgery last Thursday and have done nothing but sleep since. Hopefully the worst is behind me and depending on how I feel tomorrow I hope to be back to blogging full force. For now I just wanted to give a little shout out to my girl Sasha B.

I've "known" Sasha since 2004 or 2005 through an online Army Wives chat board. We met irl for the first time in 2009 when she did an Oplove session for the hubs and I during his r&r. Later that year we linked up again and she snapped some family photos for us before we headed to Az and her family to GA. Last year her husband was in a softball tourney about an hour up the road so we went and hung out with them. Since they we have taken turns heading from TX to Az to hang with one another. Our littles have become bff's and our hubbys are good friends too. Her whole family pretty much rocks! Sasha B shared with me today that she finally has come back to the blogging world! So if you have a minute go check out her blog The Life of Sasha B. It so happens that Sasha B also sells scentsy and I am currently hosting a party through her until the end of the month. If you would like to place an order you can do so by clicking here Ashley's Scentsy Party. 

Oh yeah and it's Tuesday! That means SOA, Parenthood, and the last unseen moments of the original Teen Mom girls is on. I am off to attempt to cook my family a meal for the first time since surgery.

Peace&Love,
Mrs.C

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Do you remember?

Today is the 11th anniversary of Sept 11th. It is hard to believe that it has been so long yet those memories of that day are as fresh in my mind as talking to my daughter yesterday. I was a Jr in high school that day and sitting in Biology 2. We were working on something with our partners and coach was sitting on his computer up front. I remember him saying something was wrong, but he refused to turn on the tv or the radio as class was just about over. My next class was a history class so my teacher asked us if we knew what was going on and we took a vote on whether or not we wanted to watch the news. I remember sitting in the dark room, quiet, and glued to the tv. At the time my dad was a recruiter for the Army and we lived far away from any military base. The only person in my class who knew anything about the Army was another girl named Ashleigh. Her dad was active duty when she was younger and I do believe at the time was in the national guard. Our teacher talked to us about what might happen and after that class was over I had lunch. I stood in line waiting to use the payphone and called my ma to ask her if she knew what they would be doing with my dad. I was no stranger to moving so I was expecting her to say something like,"well your dad got orders and we are going to xyz." It didn't happen that way though. He was able to finish his time out as a recruiter and I was able to graduate from that school. During graduation the next year one class mate wasn't able to walk across the stage and throw his cap in the air with the rest of us. See he had already went to boot camp between our Jr and Sr year so come Jan he was called to active duty and left high school behind. In May when we were all receiving our diploma's he was already in Iraq fighting the war against terrorism. Though I didn't know my husband then he also was already in Iraq as well. It is so hard to think about how many people have had their lives changed thanks to this war. My dad went to Iraq just weeks after I had my daughter. I remember the night we dropped him off to say goodbye I begged him to promise to come back. I told him he was the only grandpa she had left and she needed him. He did make it back home, but he has never been the same. Days before his unit was supposed to come home from their one year long stint he and several others were hit by an IED. Not everyone lived, some lost limbs, and I thank God everyday he allowed my dad to come home to us. He definitely sustained many physical injuries, but the mental ones are the ones that are hard to deal with. Later that same year at 21 I sent my first husband off to war. I was left at home alone with a almost 2 year old and newborn son. I made it through that year somehow, but to be honest I am not sure exactly how. My ex husband saw many many horrible things as most service members who go to war do. He came back a very changed person and so much so that it was best for everyone if the marriage ended.

Six years after Sept 11th I had already filed for divorce and was trying to move on with my life. Since I was now a single mom of 2 with a full time job I turned to online dating as a way to meet people. I only went on one date believe it or not. That date changed everything. It was the date where I met Shaun. He was amazing even from the beginning. I  ran late because of work and I am sure he thought I was standing him up. I remember pulling into the parking lot and seeing him sitting on the bench with roses. When I walked up to him I thought to myself this wasn't real. Sure enough it was. We had an amazing dinner not because the food was great or anything, but because the conversation flowed so easily. He said he would call as he walked me to my car and he did! We went on a date a few days later and then he met the kids shortly after that. Looking back at it now I could see how some would say we moved so quickly, but all I have to say is we both had failed marriages before so we knew what we wanted. Five years later here we sit married for just about 4.5 years and happier than we have ever been. Sure things haven't worked out the way we planned, but in reality when do they ever? We are about to start a new adventure together and I can't wait to see what life holds for us in paradise.

Peace & Love,
Mrs.C

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

That's a wrap

Has anyone started thinking about Christmas yet? I have, but then again I have Christmas on my brain all year long. I usually shop clearance and sales all year so that when the holiday season rolls around I don't have to fight the crowds. Only this year I am stumped as to what to get our oldest. She will be just shy of 9, but acts like she is a teenager. So yesterday I asked around to see what parents of tween/pre teens had planned to get their kids. Some of the responses I got were
  • Monster High Dolls
  • American Girl Doll
  • ipod
  • tv
  • dvd/blu ray player
  • clothes/shoes
Shaun and I had discussed getting her an ipod and docking station since the girl loves music. We both agreed that if we did get her those items she would get a couple smaller things and we would call it a day. While reading everyone's ideas one friend said that in their family they do 4 gifts, something they want, something they need, something to read, and something to wear. Now I come from a family who has HUGE Christmases and I have continued that tradition with our own kids. After reading that it was like a light bulb went off in my head. Last year they didn't even play with lots of the things they got. So while we will still most likely do more than 4 gifts we plan to keep it a lot more low key than the previous years. Yesterday was the last day Safeway had milk on sale so Kiley and I headed out to pick some up. During our drive there I asked her what she would like for Christmas. She told me she had 3 wishes and they went as followed
  1.  Tickets to see Katy Perry in concert (told you she thought she was a teen)
  2. Justin Bieber doll
  3. A camera (not a baby camera...in her words)
I couldn't believe she didn't ask for an ipod. Like seriously! So being the mom that I am as soon as she went to bed I hopped on good ol Google and tried to see if Katy Perry would be playing anywhere near us in paradise. No dice. So then I started researching cameras. Kiley is very girly so of course I started out looking at pink cameras and came across this beauty. I think it is the perfect one! It is pink, decent megapixels, and even waterproof up to 10 feet. I honestly don't think she will be taking it snorkeling or anything, but I like the fact that if she saw something cool near the water and it got wet it wouldn't be ruined. Let's face it the price ain't half bad either. Her birthday is right after Christmas so maybe we will hold onto the ipod idea for that. As for Sam I already knew what he wanted. 
  1. Cars
  2. DS
  3. DS games
Little does he know he should be getting a DS for his birthday next month. The cars are a no brainer. Whenever any asks what he wants that is my go to answer. They are always a hit with him even after all these years.  

Today has been a pretty stressful day. As I mentioned in my introduction post my son has Autism. He started receiving ABA therapy from a local company at the end of last school year. Well it has been one thing after another with them. The first therapist they sent to evaluate him made a comment she never should have and we almost stopped dealing with the company right then and there. The head therapist contacted us, apologized, and offered to take over Sam's case. We met with her and she seemed great. He was assigned two tutors and they were great as well. We went on vacation, school started, and it seemed like since then they just couldn't get their act together. One tutor cancelled on us multiple times (including today) due to issues with child care. She actually ended up leaving the company to stay home with her kids which I applaud. She came last week to speak with Sam about how she would no longer be working with him and assured him she would meet with him two more times before he wouldn't see her again. About 45 minutes before she was due to come today she text me saying she needed to cancel and I had to be the bearer of bad news when I picked Sam up. He just doesn't get why they are supposed to come and don't even if I explain they are sick or had no babysitter for their kids. For me that was the last straw. I called my husband and we had a lengthy talk and decided that it was best for Sam to stop receiving therapy from this company. We will just start back up with the new company in Hawaii. We just overall haven't had a great experience nor have we seen any change in Sam so we decided it was time to wrap it up. Our move is just weeks away and we are about to go into overdrive so it is best for everyone involved. 

I can't believe this week is almost over! Hopefully the remainder of this week will be peaceful. We have plans to go to Lowes this weekend with the kids. If you have never done the build and grow clinic check it out. It is free, it is a great experience, and my kids love having something they built! We also have to make a stop by Goodwill to drop off a donation. The purging of our house is a never ending saga. Until next time....

Peace & Love,
Mrs. C